Succumb

Succumb to that voice in your heart, the one that says it’s time,

Succumb to heading towards where that voice leads you,

Succumb to that emotion budding deep in you, the one you know you will find exhilarance in,

Succumb to the feel of the soft, warm grains of sand beneath your feet,

Succumb to the feel of the moistness in the sand, as you walk further, towards that glorious sun in the distance,

Succumb to the nothingness of the precious few moments as you watch it sink, sink, sink,

Succumb, once it’s gone, to feeling the leftover warmth it left behind,

Succumb to closing your eyes and soaking in it,

Succumb also to that slight nip in the air, that proves the voice right,

Succumb to that unique tingle of that first drop making contact with your face,

Succumb to the sights and sounds around you now, as the drops touch you with increasing frequency,

Succumb to stretching your arms wide, ignorant to the world now, just embracing the sky if you could,

Succumb as you now feel the sun’s heat being replaced by the rain’s chill, drenching you,

Succumb to remaining motionless, till you can’t tell if it really is by choice,

Succumb finally, when you hear that amazing sounds of what they claim are clouds clashing, to opening your eyes, to catch that second of a glimpse of a flash of light,

Succumb to etching into memory, what you’ve seen in that flash, water, all around, for all you can see,

Succumb, when the chill reaches your bones, to that smile breaking up on your face,

Succumb, at that moment, to that brilliant warmth that magically radiates from within you outwards, from your bones, to your skin, to the air around you,

Succumb, to your emotions, to the environment, to your thoughts,

Be selfish, and succumb, to yourself…

Note: You might have been able to tell from my previous ‘rain’ posts, the rain, the ocean and I share a very special bond. The picture, was taken safely from the safety of my car, after I was done succumbing(if that’s even a word)….

Though, it’s the first rains that make it mighty special, the next time you think it will, head to your nearest shore :-)

Song recommendation: R.E.M.- I'll take the rain

Scars of War

... And she puts on warpaint,
           so no one can see the scars,

...And she paints a happy smile across her mouth,
         so no one looks into her eyes and realizes she is anything but.

I'm only laughing on the outside / My smile is just skin deep /
If you could see inside I'm really crying / You might join me for a weep
-The Joker 

Friend or Foe

An update after a long hiatus. This should explain it :)

I've made an acquaintance in recent times,

Although you’ve been around since before I learnt rhymes

I scorned at you, put you down as weak

You waited patiently till my times were bleak

I was left with no choice but to turn to you

With time I realized no one could be more true

Hated, I did, to be told what I didn’t want to hear

With you about that, I never had a fear

You made me face what I always knew

Steadily, surely, my faith in you grew

Everyone realized the change you brought in me

I realized I couldn’t return to who I used to be

Yet, of our association I had second thoughts

Many a battle with myself I fought

From a confidante you turned into my only refuge

Only on you, my thoughts I could deluge(?)

Often I tried to run away from you and hide

The harder I tried, the faster I was forced back to your side

Confined in the very fence I put up for my defense

Undecided friend or foe, I call you, Silence

Read somewhere: Boundaries don't keep others out, they fence you in.

Song Recommendation: The Sound of Silence- Simon and Garfunkel

Note: My second poem that rhymes :)

For quite some time have been hearing from a lot of people that I've "become very quiet" (I guess others can't hear the constant babble in my mind). One such comment and a 30 minute ride home at night inspired this.

So I can sort of rhyme now, but I wish I could rhyme in a less kiddish, less funnier way, at least when I'm not writing anything funny :-/

Happy Ending

Note: A slightly delayed farewell present, and dude, you gotta like this!

That time when you stole the last bit of dessert off of my plate before I could reach for it. I was so stuffed I couldn’t have eaten another bite anyway.

Me: I hate you.

You:(smiling): No, you don’t

That time when you dragged me with you, through the night, to trek up a hill and catch a rare sunrise. It was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen, the best feeling ever to be above clouds with only the sun in distant view, surrounded by fog. Breathtaking.

Me: I hate you.

You:(smiling): No, you don’t

That time when I attempted to cook up a meal, (and NOT -as you put it- tried to kill us both in a kitchen fire) and burnt it, and you somehow performed magic (and NOT -as you put it- cooked another meal). We’ve survived quite a few decently cooked meals (by me of course!) after that, but it’s always that first one that comes to mind.

Me: I hate you.

You:(smiling): No, you don’t

That time when a movie I had been anticipating was finally in theatres. And I was ranting about wanting to watch it, but was unable to get tickets for almost a week, only to find out on the day of the release, that you had booked the tickets way in advance.

Me: I hate you.

You:(smiling): No, you don’t

That time when I was mighty pissed off at you for being out of town on my birthday, and had issued huge announcements about never wanting to see you again. I logged into my mail account at the end of the day, and the best birthday present ever awaited me: a video of you singing n playing my favorite song.

Me: I hate you.

You:(smiling): No, you don’t (and this part was also in the video after a perfectly timed pause for me to say ‘I hate you’)

So many times, so many memories, I could write an entire book recounting each of them, crystal clear in my mind. But really, it comes down to two incidents:

The time you told me about that interesting new job you were offered,

Me: I hate you.

You:(smiling): No, you don’t

 something you always wanted to do,

Me: I hate you.

You:(smiling): No, you don’t

with real good career prospects for the future and a good pay cheque to boot

Me: I HATE you.

You:(smiling): No, you don’t

It was so much better than what you were currently doing, and way better than what I was doing, and I must admit, I was a wee bit jealous.

And then you said, that the offer was for a post in an alien country, with slim chances of you returning in the near future, if at all. I could literally feel my heart falling down to my stomach with a loud thump, and knocking the wind out of me. For the last time,

Me: I hate you.

You:(smiling): No, you don’t

And then, today, now. At the airport, waiting (but not really) for the time when you must absolutely go inside, and then never come back. Fumbling over words, now, after all this time, all these memories, trying to make goodbye seem anything but. We’d been over this. We’d agreed it was for the best. It wasn’t an attempt for me to get you to wait. But it was just something I had to say. To complete this. To complete us.

Me: I love you.

You:(smiling): No, you don’t

The rest is a daze, the huge bear hug you enveloped me in, the one where our friends were alternatively shouting ‘CRY!’ And ‘GAY!’ You’d think they could be a bit more emotional. But really, where had all these emotions found me suddenly?

I remember turning away as you said your goodbyes to the rest. I couldn’t bear to say it one more time. By the time I looked back, you were on your way in. as always, you understood me perfectly.

“Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears”

And yet, as you walked away, all I was left with was ‘A Tear In My Eye’.

Note: There you go! Don’t really like drawing from real life, but it was where the emotions got me. I feel so gay writing this, but don’t worry, even I were, I’d still love you ;)

I already do, and will, miss you like crazy!

Song Recommendation: just the lyrics this time that fit here:

"He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

He says all the right things

At exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you

And you don't know why"

Everything you want by Vertical Horizon

A Change of Perspective

How do you know if your world has crashed?

How can you tell one thing isn’t right when all of it is in disarray?

You need a frame of reference,

One thing to measure it by

One thing that stayed as it was, that didn’t crash

While everything around did…

But you notice not what stayed,

All you can see is the chaos,

All you worry about is what’s not there anymore

What can never come back…

It takes but a second to catch your own reflection

Off of some broken shiny object

To make you realize that you are the one thing that is still upright

The only thing that remained

Intact, if only by appearance…

It takes several moments more

For you to realize there is only one thing to do

Try and resuscitate whatever can be

And to clean up the mess the rest made

And as you try to start to do so

And fail at each attempt,

Just as you are about to give up,

You realize all you need is a change of perspective

All that crashed, was you

Everything else remained just the same as before

The biggest of problems seem minuscule when a new one comes along...

Expressing the only way I can...