Alive

It had been ages since a day like this
She walked up to the glass windows, observing the rain pouring down
'Melting silver', she'd once heard it described as

She shut her eyes and rested her forehead against the glass
Flinching for a second at the difference in temperature

All she could hear was the rain; her absolute favourite sound in the world
But that wasn't what this was about
With all the effort she could put in, she drowned out the sound of the rain
With greater effort, she managed to tune out the less likeable voices in her head to distant murmurs

She concentrated instead on that faint, slightly off beat sound she normally never paid heed to
She thought she heard it a little louder now, a little firmer "tip tip tap" - every second or less
She imagined - as she could hear it grow louder - that she could feel it
She didn't even need to raise her hand to her breast to feel it this time,
Unmistakably, she heard her thumping heart, imagined it going from broken to whole,
Could feel the actual outline of that organ pushing against her ribs

No longer out of tune, the beats were completely in sync with her "heart", her soul
She felt her mouth turn upward in a smile, and this time she raised her hand, to touch and feel it
And as she did, she felt a drop on her hand.
The rain, she thought, pouring out her eyes through her soul.

They were both out of place, the rain outside and her smile.
This was not the time for either of them.

For her though, neither could've been more welcome.

It had been ages since a day like this. 
It had been forever since she had felt Alive.


Note: A slightly out of time post, but then again, the rains this year have been unpredictable too :)

Song Recommendation: I Am Mine by Pearl Jam

To love at all

It started so simple, a cheerful introduction...

I gave you a smile, but you wanted my words.

A phrase,a dialog, conversations that never ran cold...

I gave you my words, but you wanted my art.

A melody, a lyric, emotions immortalised in song...

I gave you my art, but you wanted my heart.

To hold on, I tried, but you wanted it all...

I gave you my heart, but you wanted my soul.

Follow this link for a beautiful illustration on the quote this post is titled after

Time

It's been a long time... It feels like yesterday

There's a world of difference between then and now... Yet everything's so much the same

I didn't know people then... I can't imagine my life without them now

There've been days that seemed would never end, ones I Wish never would

Times I've felt I was all alone, and times my heart was drumming with so much love, I could barely hear my own voice in my head

There's always been a milestone to achieve, always some silly dream to leave behind

There's always been that one disappointment to get over, always some achievement to cheer for (even if not mine own)

Times I've angered over cancelled plans, and times I've been amazed at the spontaneity of others

Times I've been overwhelmed and forced myself to take a breath and carry on.... Times I've been overwhelmed and forced myself to catch a breath my lungs desperately needed after bouts of crazy laughter

To the indecisiveness, the insecurity, the frustration, the cribbing, the smiles, the laughter, the love, the memories

To what's lost, what's been gained, to pondering if it was all worth it

To the world of wisdom gained, and to somehow still wishing I didn't know now, what I didn't know then :)

" ...and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.”

Song Recommendation: Pink Floyd - Time